This is something I wrote on Facebook a few years ago that I think is very much true today as it was when I originally wrote it.
What's wrong with society nowadays is that we no longer really care about anything other than our egos. There is a trend whereby we love others so long as they remain perfect or at best beneficial to us. This is what makes most relationships one way. Essentially society has slowly led us to accepting utilitarian means as a normal part of relationships. Now this isn't to say that a business, or professional, relationship with an employer or a restaurant that one may frequent is bad, or somehow wrong. It is clear that there is an appropriate place for every kind of relationship. However here I focus on those relationships where no transactions of goods and services occur.
So what happens when we deem someone a "disservice" to us, or they come into some hardship, or perceive that someone has done some "irreparable wrong" to us? We typically react in one of two ways.
The first way is passive aggressive wherein we cower away from said person. We seem to develop an irrational fear which over the long haul prevents us from ever really having closure, or even seeking out opportunities to really reconcile or repair the break in the relationship. We choose to dehumanize that person and see them as a potential enemy, because that makes coping with the situation immediately easy. Thus we continue on our way never really attaining understanding. We just simply cut them off, because how could someone ever really be capable of good decisions when they made a less than perfect decision? In our minds we rationalize that every good decision really was not a good decision, and therefore was a lie disguised through whatever rose-colored lens we chose to see them in.
The second way is much more vicious. We attack them. We deliberately make them feel as though they are not capable of being good. We kick them when they are down. We say things that while to our perception seems good are actually negative things that bring the person down. We trap the person in a box with a label be it liar, thief, cheater, stupid, worthless... it's all negative. When that other person moves on with their life and in our eyes attempts to get out of the box we are quick to shove them back in. We make demands and bargains for the person to obey that are so ridiculous and impossible for the person that we give them no choice but to stay in the box. Because that is what we want. We want revenge! We want blood! And we want it two weeks ago!
While it feels good at the moment, because we get to be the one to make a stand, dispense discipline and punishment, be the one who wins, we miss out on an opportunity to really make peace and reach a common understanding. Because a juicy, vivid lie is much better than the dry, seemingly uninteresting truth.
If I may propose an alternative. What if we stopped crucifying every person who crosses us in some way? What if we stopped scapegoating someone just because we don't like them or don't like what they have to say. The next time someone crosses us, let us aim to understand. Come to understand what is going on in the person's life. Yeah, it's the hard way. Yeah, it doesn't make us feel good. But let's take a moment and realize that it's not about us or even the other person. It's about the dignity of the human person. It's about the fact that whether we like it or not that person is going to exist and keep existing on the same planet as us, and we might as well actually put in the effort to actually reach the peace we so often claim we desire - without seeking blood or revenge.
However, this is difficult. It requires we have to put aside how we feel about the person or situation and actually take the time to extend the olive branch and bury the hatchet. And for many, many people this seems like such an impossible task. Who knows, maybe the other person is offering the olive branch and you have your head jammed so far up your own butt that right now you can't see that.
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
Saturday, June 30, 2018
Why I Left LinkedIn
Those who know me won't be surprised to learn that after several years of inactivity I have left LinkedIn. LinkedIn is a social network where you can post your resume and connect with others on the job market.
So, why did I leave?
Well, just as in other postings I've made, I'm cutting down on my social network usage. With LinkedIn I had a profile set up with my work history and resume, and for a while it was cool to check in and see what new connections I was suggested. Sure it was great when I received an endorsement on my skills ranging from public speaking to various tenets of computer knowledge, however I never actually used the site, and overall I was dissatisfied.
With all the jobs out there I've applied to - that give the option to apply with LinkedIn - it seemed redundant to import my information, and then fill out the exact same information that was on my profile.
Okay, okay, okay, I probably didn't take full advantage of LinkedIn. You're right, I didn't. I just didn't have the drive. Overall, I've found better usage on job sites such as Indeed.com. Also, I have a tendency to prefer the old fashioned way of applying for jobs: in person or directly through a company's website!
So, while you won't see me on LinkedIn there are a couple of ways to connect with me via a social network:
Twitter: @noherp2012
My Twitter handle is used more often than even my Facebook*. I've been on Twitter since 2009 and pretty much don't take it as seriously (although I've been known to post anything interesting or remotely controversial 😏). So pretty much I just use it as an outlet for the random happenings of life (hmm, kind of like a 240 character blog post...) what in common parlance is called shitposting. Seriously, if you're into that sort of thing I'm not going to stop you from following me on Twitter.
Google+: Link to profile towards top
Pretty much the entire point of my G+ is to utilize a GSuite service that comes free with my email account (like Blogger, YouTube, Drive, Docs, Groups, Photos, Sites, Maps, Keep, Calendar...). But over the years I've kept it geared more towards sharing and posting stuff relevant to science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) and connecting with other people who share that common interest.
*Disclaimer: I only accept friend requests on Facebook from people I have actually met in the real world.
I do occasionally pop in and out of Goodreads, but only when I'm updating my reading progress. Quite frankly I find Goodreads a mere convenient interface to share with others what I'm reading. Aside from that don't expect me to be on there frequently.
Alright, so I do enjoy a good tangent every now and again, and given that my blog here is more about free writing and life updates I don't feel ashamed for my endless tangents or rants (probably followed by some family and a couple of friends than a random stranger).
That's all for now! Now to get back to taking care of that pesky laundry that never actually goes away.
So, why did I leave?
Well, just as in other postings I've made, I'm cutting down on my social network usage. With LinkedIn I had a profile set up with my work history and resume, and for a while it was cool to check in and see what new connections I was suggested. Sure it was great when I received an endorsement on my skills ranging from public speaking to various tenets of computer knowledge, however I never actually used the site, and overall I was dissatisfied.
With all the jobs out there I've applied to - that give the option to apply with LinkedIn - it seemed redundant to import my information, and then fill out the exact same information that was on my profile.
Okay, okay, okay, I probably didn't take full advantage of LinkedIn. You're right, I didn't. I just didn't have the drive. Overall, I've found better usage on job sites such as Indeed.com. Also, I have a tendency to prefer the old fashioned way of applying for jobs: in person or directly through a company's website!
So, while you won't see me on LinkedIn there are a couple of ways to connect with me via a social network:
Twitter: @noherp2012
My Twitter handle is used more often than even my Facebook*. I've been on Twitter since 2009 and pretty much don't take it as seriously (although I've been known to post anything interesting or remotely controversial 😏). So pretty much I just use it as an outlet for the random happenings of life (hmm, kind of like a 240 character blog post...) what in common parlance is called shitposting. Seriously, if you're into that sort of thing I'm not going to stop you from following me on Twitter.
Google+: Link to profile towards top
Pretty much the entire point of my G+ is to utilize a GSuite service that comes free with my email account (like Blogger, YouTube, Drive, Docs, Groups, Photos, Sites, Maps, Keep, Calendar...). But over the years I've kept it geared more towards sharing and posting stuff relevant to science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) and connecting with other people who share that common interest.
*Disclaimer: I only accept friend requests on Facebook from people I have actually met in the real world.
I do occasionally pop in and out of Goodreads, but only when I'm updating my reading progress. Quite frankly I find Goodreads a mere convenient interface to share with others what I'm reading. Aside from that don't expect me to be on there frequently.
Alright, so I do enjoy a good tangent every now and again, and given that my blog here is more about free writing and life updates I don't feel ashamed for my endless tangents or rants (probably followed by some family and a couple of friends than a random stranger).
That's all for now! Now to get back to taking care of that pesky laundry that never actually goes away.
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
Surprise Birthday Weekend!
My wife had been planning something for a few weeks - and it totally surprised me!
I had planned to take the family to Illinois to visit my parents over my birthday weekend (turned 34... I think...) and that, of course, became the main focal point of the trip. It was great to give Isabelle time to spend with her grandparents and her uncles, aunts, and cousins who came to join in the fun. After all, family is important, and it's good to make sure children are exposed to their family members - no matter how odd they may be.
That turned out to not be the only fun that happened, as my dear wife invited my best friends - a few who I haven't seen since the wedding - into town to surprise me with their presence. I had a fantastic time catching up with everyone, and I was incredibly honored by the event.
So, to all my friends, and especially my dearest wife: Thank you!
Monday, June 18, 2018
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Of Traditionalist Backbiting
There is a problem my fellow lay faithful. It is a cancer, and it grows among us to stifle out all of our efforts to preserve, defend, and promulgate the Traditions of the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church. This problem is backbiting.
So what is backbiting?
St. Thomas Aquinas, in the Summa Theologica (IIa. IIae. Q. 73) tells us that "Just as one man injures another by deed in two ways,--openly, as by robbery or by doing him any kind of violence,--and secretly, as by theft, or by a crafty blow, so again one man injures another by words in two ways;--in one way, openly, and in this done by reviling him, as stated above (Q. 72, A. 1),--and in another secretly, and this is backbiting." Backbiting is thus a sin against charity, because it seeks to speak ill of another in order to detract from the good name or reputation of that person. However, among traditional Catholics this is done on a more subtle and larger scale.
There are some who would say I am with SSPX!, and another that would say I am with the Institute!, others still would say I am with the Fraternity!, and still, those who would say that they are with whatever sort of Traditional Latin Mass that they go to. Some, even so, go so far as to even say something along the lines of I am a _____ Catholic! and insert name of what religious community or Diocese is hosting their Latin Mass.
Is this madness not contrary to our very essence? Did not Jesus command us, "Going therefore, teach ye all nations; baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Teaching them to observe all the things whatsoever I have commanded you." In light of the mission of the Church and of the Traditional Catholic raison d'etre, it seems that much of the backbiting is over who is superior or who has a valid Mass. Why are we so divided?
"Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I indeed am of Paul; and I am of Apollo; and I of Cephas; and I of Christ. Is Christ divided? Was Paul then crucified for you? or were you baptized in the name of Paul?" These words from St. Paul (I Cor 1:12-13) should challenge us and give us something to reflect on. Said another way, was SSPX crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter? Nay! Christ suffered Crucifixion for you, and you were baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost!
Furthermore, when we say things such as I'm in the SSPX, or I'm a Fraternity Catholic, or a hundred other things, are not we rending the seamless garment of Christ? Yes, we say also that we are Traditional Catholics, and indeed we are Traditional Catholics. This distinction in many areas is very important, but will not be discussed now. By these things also, which innocently enough associate ourselves with our particular parish, unintentionally claim ourselves as members of that Priestly Society or diocese. It is inappropriate to claim that we belong to the SSPX, ICRSS, FSSP, or any religious order and diocese unless we have received consecrations or admittance to their ranks! This of course means that unless you are a third order, lay associate, seminarian, religious brother/sister, or Priest, you may not claim to be a member.
To overcome some of the backbiting and what can be referred to as "infighting" there are only three criteria that Traditional Catholics should ever have when looking for a Traditional Latin Mass to assist at:
So what is backbiting?
St. Thomas Aquinas, in the Summa Theologica (IIa. IIae. Q. 73) tells us that "Just as one man injures another by deed in two ways,--openly, as by robbery or by doing him any kind of violence,--and secretly, as by theft, or by a crafty blow, so again one man injures another by words in two ways;--in one way, openly, and in this done by reviling him, as stated above (Q. 72, A. 1),--and in another secretly, and this is backbiting." Backbiting is thus a sin against charity, because it seeks to speak ill of another in order to detract from the good name or reputation of that person. However, among traditional Catholics this is done on a more subtle and larger scale.
There are some who would say I am with SSPX!, and another that would say I am with the Institute!, others still would say I am with the Fraternity!, and still, those who would say that they are with whatever sort of Traditional Latin Mass that they go to. Some, even so, go so far as to even say something along the lines of I am a _____ Catholic! and insert name of what religious community or Diocese is hosting their Latin Mass.
Is this madness not contrary to our very essence? Did not Jesus command us, "Going therefore, teach ye all nations; baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Teaching them to observe all the things whatsoever I have commanded you." In light of the mission of the Church and of the Traditional Catholic raison d'etre, it seems that much of the backbiting is over who is superior or who has a valid Mass. Why are we so divided?
"Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I indeed am of Paul; and I am of Apollo; and I of Cephas; and I of Christ. Is Christ divided? Was Paul then crucified for you? or were you baptized in the name of Paul?" These words from St. Paul (I Cor 1:12-13) should challenge us and give us something to reflect on. Said another way, was SSPX crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter? Nay! Christ suffered Crucifixion for you, and you were baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost!
Furthermore, when we say things such as I'm in the SSPX, or I'm a Fraternity Catholic, or a hundred other things, are not we rending the seamless garment of Christ? Yes, we say also that we are Traditional Catholics, and indeed we are Traditional Catholics. This distinction in many areas is very important, but will not be discussed now. By these things also, which innocently enough associate ourselves with our particular parish, unintentionally claim ourselves as members of that Priestly Society or diocese. It is inappropriate to claim that we belong to the SSPX, ICRSS, FSSP, or any religious order and diocese unless we have received consecrations or admittance to their ranks! This of course means that unless you are a third order, lay associate, seminarian, religious brother/sister, or Priest, you may not claim to be a member.
To overcome some of the backbiting and what can be referred to as "infighting" there are only three criteria that Traditional Catholics should ever have when looking for a Traditional Latin Mass to assist at:
- The use of the 1962 Roman Missal
- Recognition of the current Pope as truly the Vicar of Christ and successor of St. Peter
- Adherence to the Traditions and Teaching of Holy Mother Church
Let us all pray, uniting our prayers to the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts of Jesus and Mary for better unity among all traditionalists. May our work to promulgate the traditions and teachings of the Church which for 60 years have been under attack, and even forgotten in many places, be brought to fruition by God's grace and providence!
Saturday, May 26, 2018
Book Review: Pascendi Gregis
Pascendi Dominici Gregis by Pope Pius XMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
An absolutely a fantastic work! In Pascendi, Pope St. Pius X exposes many of the erroneous philosophies which continue to assail the Catholic Church and even the world today. Pope St. Pius X will challenge you to really examine and think objectively about some of the common thoughts and ideas in our modern world. However, the reader is not left with a list of problems and diagnosis of what is wrong with the world. A remedy and well reasoned solution is proposed by Pope St. Pius X that really made me think!
View all my reviews
Friday, May 11, 2018
16 Days Into Fatherhood
Yep, you could say that reality is starting to sink in. This is my life now. A life of caring for more than just me. It's about the family now. By now most parents I've encountered would be exhausted and probably ready to give up. Nope, not me! I've come to realize that sometimes in those moments when the baby is asleep, when suddenly it seems like equilibrium has been restored are those very moments when taking a quick nap or seizing the opportunity to take care of a chore or two.I finally said to Jessica this morning, "I think our days of sleeping in a little are over." She gave me an exhausted, emotionally drained look, of course, as if to say, well, duh, you think? Overall I think we are getting the hang of things.
Amidst it all Isabelle continues to amaze me! She's already trying to get her arms and legs into motion to crawl, although the mechanics need to get worked out some. In some ways it seems like she's taking after her dad in being an overachiever. This has got me thinking what will I do if she becomes an overachiever or starts to get ahead of other kids her age? And I think that I'm just going to encourage her. I can't wait to see how her personality and natural talents will develop over the course of her life.
Saturday, May 5, 2018
New Baby Has Arrived!
On April 25th (just a week and a half ago!) at 6:15 pm Jessica and I welcomed our baby girl to the family naming her Isabelle Claire. Weight at birth was just under 6 lbs, but don't let her small size fool you. She passed her tests with flying colors and so far, at home, has made an attempt to try learning how to crawl, so she just may yet be an overachiever like her dad!
All the excitement at everything she does comes at the very small price of being just a little fatigued. But that is okay! What is interesting is that I was advised by some parents during Jessica's pregnancy "Oh, that first week is so hard. Watch out!" The first week with Isabelle home was probably anything but as hard, or terrible as some say. That is not to say that my experience with fatherhood is the exception--or even the rule--but rather I count myself fortunate and blessed that my wife and I have somehow narrowly escaped the drastic changes Isabelle has no doubt brought to our family life.
Jessica and I thank everyone for the continued support and prayers on our behalf as we get settled in what is now our new reality. And you know something? It just isn't that bad.
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Altering My Use of Social Media - Part 2
So, a couple months ago I decided to take the Facebook app off my phone. (You can read about my reasons here.) After a couple of months of not using Facebook on my phone I've discovered more than just some space and battery being saved.
From time to time I just get into a mood. A real mood. A mood to write, blog, tinker with a website, or practice my coding (C++). I have to be honest those notifications were getting in the way of things I wanted to do, and much more than I thought.
After seeing the results of two months without Facebook on my phone, I've decided to keep it off my phone. I'm still going to use Facebook, but I've discovered that I only use it to keep in touch with friends and share... well... pointless stuff. A lot of what I share on Facebook is a lot of inside jokes that only friends and family members understand, so that's also why I don't accept friend requests from anyone unless I've actually met them (you know, in like real life).
As much as I still use social networking I've found that my main outlet is Twitter or Google+. It's not that Facebook doesn't cut it for me, or that I don't find it entertaining. It's mostly the fact that the amount of time I spend on Twitter and Google is considerably less than what I spend on Facebook.
That being said, I've been able to find more time for blogging - which presently is my best medium for writing and getting my thoughts out. So, until next time...
From time to time I just get into a mood. A real mood. A mood to write, blog, tinker with a website, or practice my coding (C++). I have to be honest those notifications were getting in the way of things I wanted to do, and much more than I thought.
After seeing the results of two months without Facebook on my phone, I've decided to keep it off my phone. I'm still going to use Facebook, but I've discovered that I only use it to keep in touch with friends and share... well... pointless stuff. A lot of what I share on Facebook is a lot of inside jokes that only friends and family members understand, so that's also why I don't accept friend requests from anyone unless I've actually met them (you know, in like real life).
As much as I still use social networking I've found that my main outlet is Twitter or Google+. It's not that Facebook doesn't cut it for me, or that I don't find it entertaining. It's mostly the fact that the amount of time I spend on Twitter and Google is considerably less than what I spend on Facebook.
That being said, I've been able to find more time for blogging - which presently is my best medium for writing and getting my thoughts out. So, until next time...
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Baby Countdown
In case any of you have been completely out of the loop in the last several months: Jessica and I will are expecting the birth of our first child by approximately the end of the month or the first part of May. It's an exciting time filled with getting the crib ready, making sure we have enough diapers (at this point we have the equivalent of a Wal-Mart distribution center!), and packing the hospital bag that we'll be taking with us.
I think that, as much as we can be, we are ready. Now we wait!
I think that, as much as we can be, we are ready. Now we wait!
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