Discernment Update

Discernment is going really well. So well in fact that I'm discerning out. I'm sorry if this is a shock to any of you. Tomorrow (Sunday) I will be leaving the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest to return to life as a lay person. By the time many of you read this I will already be home. If any of you are in any way scandalized... I'm sorry. 

Things were really great here in formation. I was involved in everything the community did, attended all of the prayers, meals, etc that were required of me. I was doing rather well in my classes and was growing in my faith. But it is apparent that God is not calling me to be a religious. Instead I'm discerning the Institute's Lay Society, the Society of the Sacred Heart, and deciding to pursue academia studying Meteorology. 

Again, if this has scandalized any of you I am sorry and will most heartfully pray for you. If any of you wish to speak with me about this I am willing to talk about my discernment. Please, do pray for me that I may be able to take everything that I learned here and ponder it for years to come. This was not an easy decision. 

Thank you for all of your prayers during this time in my life. Know that I truly prayed for each and every one of you! 

A Day In The Life

So many of you have wondered what exactly goes on during formation. Do I just sit around and pray in the Church? Do I get up early? Do they feed me? What is there to do for fun? And so here I finally write what it is to live a "typical" day in the life of the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest.

6:30 am: Rise (I'm usually up between 5:30/6:00)
7:00 am: Lauds (Morning Prayer)
7:30 am: Rosary and other Marian devotions/ Confession available
8:00 am: Low Mass
9:15 am: Breakfast
10:00 am: Spiritual Conference (Mondays), Gregorian Chant (Tuesdays), classes (other days)
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10:00 am Sunday: High Mass
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11:00 am: Chores (when classes or other things are not scheduled)
1:00 pm: Lunch!
1:30 pm: Free time
2:30 pm: Chores or study
4:00 pm: Free time
5:00 pm: Adoration and Benediction
6:15 pm: Vespers (Evening Prayer)
6:45 pm: Free time
7:45 pm: Dinner
10:00 pm: Silence
10:30 pm: Lights out

It's a pretty rigorous schedule. We learn from St. Benedict who advises us to bear in mind "ora et labora," or "pray and work." My main house chore is cleaning and maintaining the kitchen which involves running to the store every now and again for food.

Leaving For Seminary!

To my dearest friends,

A couple of you know already, but for those of you who don't know I have been ACCEPTED to the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest. The Institute is a Society of Apostolic Life which specializes in the Holy Mass in the Extraordinary Form (i.e. Tradtional Latin Mass) and living the spirituality of St. Francis de Sales. I am very happy to have come to this point in my life and can say with a certainty that God has indeed called me to enter the Candidacy phase of formation for the Institute. God willing in the year 2017 I and 10 of my brothers will be ordained a Priest. But that is yet 8 years away.

The primary reason for my departure is to go to a place where I can discern the will of God. What will happen during my year of Candidacy? In one year I will become more fluent in French and Latin and will study liturgy and will learn how to Altar serve a Traditional Latin Mass. I will also be residing at St. Francis de Sales Oratory in St. Louis, MO and have included my address at the bottom of the note.

This milestone of grace comes at a time when I am still discerning if God wants me to be a religious or married. Both vocations are holy and worthy of discernment, and now I get to discern deeper than before the religious life and if God wants me to be there.

To all of my friends I want to say thank you for your prayers. You don't know how much they mean to me. Please keep praying for me I will need those prayers over the course of the next year. Also, know my friends that I will be praying for your intentions this next year and that I love all of you more than you'll ever know.

Truth to be told I never thought I'd ever be writing this note since I began discerning the Institute some 4 months ago. And as some can attest... I kind of fought the idea at first. But in the end when I met with a Priest within the community and spent a weekend visiting them... I LOVED IT! I decided to go through with the application process and I am eternally grateful for it.

What a Way to Begin Blogging!

I've been very much inspired by a great friend of mine who has helped me to realize and to acknowledge some of the problems with the world and how they impact my life. Also, this friend has greatly encouraged me to get back into blogging, something I haven't done since I left Myspace a few years back. And so I bring you things I dislike about the world...

1. When people think that they are better than everyone else just because they think that they are better than everyone else.
2. When people judge the messenger and not the message. Think about it... if the most deranged, narcissistic, immoral person stated that he was converting to Christianity and that Jesus is Lord, would we believe him? Afterall, if he says that Jesus is Lord, isn't that the truth? Does it really matter WHO speaks the truth? Or do we put people into boxes and thus limit their capacities?
3. When we deliberately place people into boxes of social prejudice just because they don't align precisely with our personal world view.
4. The fact that most people will not want to read to the end based on the content of the next statements and the above stated.
5. People who will admit that a person is intelligent and gifted but will avoid them out of fear or feeling inferior without getting to know the person. Think about it... if a person is THAT intelligent or gifted wouldn't it seem logical to get to know the person and thus perhaps risk gaining knowledge making you smarter?
6. When people who know the truth, know what is logical and intelligent, and acknowledge what is real do not act in accordance to it. Think about it... if you know that jumping off the Grand Canyon will kill you and you still (for the thrill of it) jump off the Grand Canyon without a rope or another safety device, doesn't that seem a little dumb?
7. People who ask questions and will not wait to hear the response but rather assume that what you have to say is not important.
8. People who make assumptions about other people based upon their social status, mental capabilities, or world views without hearing them out and getting to know them. See also #3.
9. People who learn one thing about another person and thus assume that they are not worthy of love.
10. The superficial and people who are satisfied with it.
11. The cliche.
12. The fact that over the course of my life I have been guilty of ALL of the above statements.

Know this: I am a Christian, but the worst sinner. I know the Truth, but sometimes do not live it. I desire to be a Saint, but sometimes feel more comfortable being wretched. I desire to evangelize to people the Truth, but sometimes only if I feel like they deserve it. I talk about the importance of temperance and humility, but sometimes pridefully allow myself to eat and drink myself sick. I talk about how we should pray always, but often will make excuses why not to pray.

I sin EVERY day, but I try with every chance I get to say with emphatic conviction: I confess to Almighty God, and to you brethren, that I have sinned exceedingly in thought, word, and deed.

So what's my problem with the world? Me.